VooDoo Turns 30

Tighter Twat promises a short trail.  He says this all the time.  We still end up on trail for something like 130 minutes of sheer hell and confusion.

Okay, maybe it wasn't that bad.  Hashers gathered at the riverbend, and we were greeted by a TON of visitors.  Seems last week's virgins, Just Jessica, Just Dave and Dock B like to tell their semen friends about all the great athleticism, and they get convinced that we're cool.  :)  Anyhoo, we had another Just Dave, Just Rich (who didn't have any money, so we're calling him Just Poor) and some more dudes that I don't remember.  That many cute boys at one time really threw my concentration.  Wee-blow Master also brought a Just Joe and Releash Me brought Just Ahmet to add to the virgin sacrifice.

So, we had to do this whole elaborate chalk talk, only to figure out that there wasn't much damn chalk on the actual trail.  Hmmmm.  Got lost at the first of ONE Tit checks.  We meandered around the riverbend neighborhoods.  Sure as shootin', we headed up and over the levee.  Into the shiggy the more adventurous hashers delved.  Those of us who have half a brain decided to just ride the levee and follow alongside the crazies  who liked mulkin around in the mud.  Beer stop was breathtaking- and not in a Seinfeld sort of way.  We entered a clearing along the river, where the sky was pink with puffy clouds and sunset.  We found neat artifacts, like a rusted out motorbike and an adventure course-  Tandy Ass and Dock Cousteau attempted to arouse themselves by climbing the rope.  I don't think either were successful. 

Around the bend and into a decidedly shady neighborhood, we fell into chaos.  Too many virgins checking trail without knowing what to look for.. we went on a half-hour check of a trail where there was only 2 blobs of flour-  oh wait, it wasn't flour, it was bug-infested corn meal!

Okay, so we finally made it outta there and chugged a few more blocks.  People started getting pissy, tired and altogether bug-bitten.  The BN was certainly overdue!  Of course, those of us with insider information, knew all along that finish was going to be at Tighter and Posse's crib, but we did trail to be good sports.

Circle was relatively uneventful.  Virgins drank, and drank, and drank.  We said goodbye to Releash Me, who promised us she wasn't coming back again.  FRB was Tandy Ass, FBI was No Cunt-Troll, DFL was Wee-Blow.  But the real DFL's were Ass Dandruff and Better Moans and Gardens (who showed up to circle a mysterious 1/2 hour after the rest of the pack.  Sex on trail, perhaps?  They drank for canoodling.  Wee-blow presented Lack A Virgin- Hey! with a dandy little award for winning Tippy Cup, a very cool and sexy fingerless glove for future competitions.

Songs, beer, songs, religion- On Out!